Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Evangelicals, Such a Mystery

So, I was home sick today and between sleeping I finished reading this book. I think I got it from the library because it was on Oprah's top 10 books for the month of March or something like that and I was curious what a non-Christian's perspective on evangelical Christians would look like. The author, a self proclaimed Atheist, spent 2 years undercover in an evangelical mega-church, going forward during an alter call, getting baptized, even going on an evangelism mission trip and helping a young girl understand what it meant to accept Jesus Christ and become a follower of Christ.

At the beginning of the book I found myself hoping that the experience actually changed her heart and took her from 'faking' Christianity to genuine belief herself. I even looked in the back of the book early on to see if I could tell whether that happened or not. Nothing stuck out and the farther I got in the book the more my heart fell and broke for her. This woman spent two years sitting in church, attending Sunday school, worshiping and interacting with other Christians and nothing penetrated her heart or drew her into a relationship with the Lord.

That's it...that's why she still doesn't get it. She was going through the 'Christian motions' and never actually talking or listening to God. She never truly understood His love for her. I finished the book very sad for her...wishing her epilogue had included a follow up story of how her experience 'undercover' actually convinced her there was a God and that He loved her enough to save her. But what kind of atheist would she be then?

Intrigued, I was curious what other Christians were feeling about the book. I didn't spend a lot of time looking but came across this article. At the end she said that even if she hadn't been raised Atheist and had become a Christian at some point in this experience, she'd be believing something that wasn't true. Heartbreaking. She held back so much and kept certain parts of herself closed off during her undercover years that even if a part of her wanted to believe I think she would have just pushed that away and chose to ignore it. I'm praying the Lord will become real and true to her at some point in her life.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I'm Back!

Back to blogging after about 3 weeks and more importantly back to losing weight.

I saw a new doctor last week who specializes in PCOS and it was refreshing. He was able to tell me how PCOS affects my body and why I seem to have an extra hard time losing weight. The PCOS contributes to me being insulin resistant and basically my cells have no idea what to do with the carbs I eat so my body just turns them to fat...whether I eat a lot or a little. He told me that I likely will not be able to lose and keep off weight just by diet and exercise (which I already know from personal experience) so he put me on some prescriptions to help my body learn what it needs to be doing (because it's confused).

I have NEVER been one to want to take medications of any kind but since I finally have someone who is able to explain things to me and basically told me that what I'm currently doing will never fully work for me...I decided to give the meds a try. The only side affect so far is that if I do eat too many carbs my body won't like it and will try to get rid of them fast (use your imagination). That will just remind me to keep the carbs low.

The nutritionist who works with this doctor told me I need to eat twice as much protein as carbs (100g vs 50g). So far even on my very best eating day...I have not been able to do this but it's a journey and it's for life...so I will keep trying everyday.

Weight Watchers at work was actually delayed and just started last week. It's sort of tricky to stay within my points when eating low carb-high protein because high protein also tends to mean higher fat. But I need to just focus on healthy eating and not be too concerned about my 'points' as long as I'm losing which I am.