Rule Follower

I'm a rule follower. It might be in part to being a first born or even somewhat because I'm in a profession where I need to enforce rules at times. All day I have been annoyed by something and I think it stems from the rule follower in me. Today we had a pot luck brunch where we were all supposed to sign up for what we wanted to bring. Two people who didn't use the sign up ended up bringing basically the same type of thing which was also the same time of thing that I was already bringing (and had signed up for). I was instantly annoyed when I walked in the room. This is the second time this has happened to me for a work pot luck and last time the guy didn't write anything down on the sign up either. I'm ready to throw the pot luck out the window and just show up with whatever I want to bring, but I doubt I'll ever transition to that (that's like breaking the rules). Oh, and yes, I'm well aware of the fact that I'm being ridiculous.

Engagements, Engagements, & Weddings Oh My

I'm fairly content to be single, most days, usually. I have ALWAYS believed that God's plan for my life is the ultimate plan and I do not need to worry what I'll eat or drink or who I'll marry or if I'll marry. I trust Him completely in every area of my life but I can't help thinking that I don't always understand Him.

IF God brings marriage to my life at some point I have pretty high expectations for what that will look like. Not necessarily what the guy will look like (although I assume he'll be gorgeous in my eyes) but what our relationship will look like. I'm not willing to settle for someone who's not completely 100% sold out to following Jesus and bringing others along on the way. There's some other things I'm hoping for but that's the biggie. I also don't want to end up stuck in a relationship I wish I could get out of or divorced (not sure which of those I like least). I feel for some of my friends who are in either of those situations and it does make me thankful not to be.

However as much as I trust God and as much as I will serve Him fully even if he does not bring marriage...my heart aches a little at seeing others find the love of their lives. I have friends who won't even attend someone's wedding or congratulate someone on an engagement because of how much it hurts their heart, so that's how I can gage that my hurt is very, very little. One of the things that usually keeps it all in perspective for me is thinking about some of my amazing friends who remain single and faithful to follow God's plan in their lives and the fact that a lot of them are older and wiser than I. I'm also very happy for friends who have waited patiently and God has provided in this area.

In general, my 'singleness' discussions usually happen in the privacy of my quiet time with God (or with trusted and loving friends) but attending 2 weddings in 2 weeks and hearing of 4 new engagements this week has got me thinking on this subject more. It's got me praying on the subject more too, that God continuously reminds me that His plans are perfect and He loves me more than any husband ever will, and He wants my heart fully committed to Him not wishing for something else.

For those of you who check into my blog who are single...I pray your heart knows these things too and for those of you who are married (happily or otherwise) I pray you continue finding your value in God and His plans rather than looking for it in your spouse.

100th Post-Better Be Big

I noticed last month that my next post was going to be my 100th post and instantly felt pressure to make it bigger or better than normal... Incredibly, something big has gone on the for the last few week so I'll write about that.

Three weeks ago I (and my little Dodge Neon) got into a car accident. Thankfully everyone involved was okay but I had no clue what to do because I had never been in an accident before. I was frustrated with myself because I actually saw the car (that eventually hit me) and wondered if he was going to see me and then before I knew it he was smashing into the side of my car. Had I listened to my instincts better maybe I would have slowed down and maybe the accident wouldn't have happened...but I can't hang on to the what ifs.

I was actually planning to start looking for a different car next year so I decided to use this as an opportunity to just start that process earlier. After seeing my car...I was pretty sure the insurance company would total it and send me money. I was fine either way so I started checking out some cars on line and waiting for the official word. Five days after the accident the insurance company called me to tell me they would be fixing my car and it would take about 8 days or so. So I cancelled my plans to go test drive cars that night and called my Dad to tell him I did not need him to send me the title. The very next day the insurance company called me again, this time to make negotiate a settlement on my totaled car. Somehow they got their communications crossed but in fact they were totallying my car. From that point on my mind was completely focused on figuring out the car thing.

I hit the car buying hard:
Friday night-test drove at dealer 1
Saturday morning-test drove more cars at dealer 1
Sunday afternoon-drove through some other dealerships to look at what they had
Monday evening-test drove with dealer 2 in a snow storm
Tuesday evening-test drove a different color and year of Monday's car at dealer 2, made an offer to dealer 2...dealer 2 would not budge on price, left dealer 2 feeling empowered by my ability to walk away and not make an emotional decision
Wednesday afternoon-dealer 2 called back with a better 'deal,' told them I still didn't like the deal and I had moved on.
Wednesday evening-test drove with dealer 3
Thursday evening-took Wednesday night car from dealer 3 for more test driving and kept it overnight
Friday morning-returned car to dealer 3 and made yet another offer to yet another dealer who did not want to budge on price. I told him 'no' and left.
Friday afternoon & evening-Cried out of frustration with the dealers and desire for the car buying process to be done. Took the night off from car shopping.
Saturday morning-call from dealer 3 with 'good news' about the offer they could make me. Offer was still not good and I told him I was test driving something else that morning.
Saturday morning-test drove family friend's car but didn't feel like it was the 'right car' for me. Decided to check for sale by owner cars on Craigslist. Drove a Craigslist car and made an offer that morning (they were willing to deal). Had my mechanic check out the car and bought the Craigslist car that afternoon and am now the owner of a 2003 Subaru Outback.

I am so glad to be done with car buying and hopeful that I never again have to deal with a car dealer. The whole process was a good learning experience and thankfully the people around me were very patient with me as I navigated this process.

There's the big 100th post news!!