So, I was home sick today and between sleeping I finished reading this book. I think I got it from the library because it was on Oprah's top 10 books for the month of March or something like that and I was curious what a non-Christian's perspective on evangelical Christians would look like. The author, a self proclaimed Atheist, spent 2 years undercover in an evangelical mega-church, going forward during an alter call, getting baptized, even going on an evangelism mission trip and helping a young girl understand what it meant to accept Jesus Christ and become a follower of Christ.
At the beginning of the book I found myself hoping that the experience actually changed her heart and took her from 'faking' Christianity to genuine belief herself. I even looked in the back of the book early on to see if I could tell whether that happened or not. Nothing stuck out and the farther I got in the book the more my heart fell and broke for her. This woman spent two years sitting in church, attending Sunday school, worshiping and interacting with other Christians and nothing penetrated her heart or drew her into a relationship with the Lord.
That's it...that's why she still doesn't get it. She was going through the 'Christian motions' and never actually talking or listening to God. She never truly understood His love for her. I finished the book very sad for her...wishing her epilogue had included a follow up story of how her experience 'undercover' actually convinced her there was a God and that He loved her enough to save her. But what kind of atheist would she be then?
Intrigued, I was curious what other Christians were feeling about the book. I didn't spend a lot of time looking but came across this article. At the end she said that even if she hadn't been raised Atheist and had become a Christian at some point in this experience, she'd be believing something that wasn't true. Heartbreaking. She held back so much and kept certain parts of herself closed off during her undercover years that even if a part of her wanted to believe I think she would have just pushed that away and chose to ignore it. I'm praying the Lord will become real and true to her at some point in her life.
3 comments:
Wow. That breaks my heart, too. And I'm truly saddened that our "church" has become something so far removed from truly investing in peoples' hearts that they did not notice that she was faking.
I think in her comment about even if she had become a Christian, that she'd be believing something that wasn't true..to me that's saying she wants to believe and maybe even sort of does..but because of the veil she's under, she doesn't know how to deal with that..how do you make it ok to believe in something or someone who you've been told all of your life was wrong, not there, not real..must be very confusing.
Great blog, thanks for sharing!
Carmen,
I'd not heard of this book, but I read a similar one (The Unlikely Disciple) last summer. The journey and outcome of this one sound much the same.
I'm so sad for her too, but you would think she would have atleast seen a difference in the Christians...
What are we doing wrong that people don't see what we have and want that for themselves!
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