Patient

Several characteristics to meditate on came to mind this morning...but patience was the overwhelming need for today.  I have a patient exterior.  I don't get riled up, like ever.  I don't say things hastily only to have to apologize or back pedal later.  I'm calm.  Stress does not affect me...on the outside.  But what about inside the heart, where, let's face it, it really counts, am I patient there?  While I'm cool, calm and collected on the outside, patiently waiting for the Lord's guidance, what I'm really doing is hiding the fear and anger on the inside.  At every moment when I chose external patience today I was struck by the true feelings of impatience and judgement on the inside.  That's not the type of patience Jesus had.  Tonight as I have reflected on this characteristic more, sought verses form His Word to learn from...all I could do was pray that more of who I portray myself to be on the outside would be who I really am on the inside.  It's why I need Jesus every day, only He can change me from the inside.