Righteous & Kind

Meditating on a different characteristic of Jesus everyday is trickier than I thought it would be.  It was especially hard on Saturday and I didn't do it.  Ironic how it was harder on the weekend where I have more free time, but I think it's because I try to do more mindless things on the weekend (so I'm not thinking about anything).

Sunday morning, it just so happened that the teaching/discussion topic was righteousness.  Can't really pick a better Jesus characteristic than that.  The truth is, we need Jesus because we have no hope of achieving righteousness (as much as we sometimes try).   It's so difficult sometimes to grasp the reality that nothing we do can make us right (righteous) with God.  It's only through Jesus' that the gap is bridged and we can still have relationship with God.

"Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.  But now a righteousness from God, apart from the law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify.  This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.  there is no difference, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."  Romans 3: 20-24

Yesterday I didn't meditate either.  My focus was clouded by a cold, stuffy nose and difficulty concentrating.

Today I will medicate on Jesus' kindness.

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.  Be the living expression of God's kindness:  kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile."  -Mother Teresa

Trustworthy

It's only halfway through the day but since I decided yesterday that today's meditations would be on trust...I've been thinking on it since last night.

Jesus showed himself trustworthy by doing what he said he would do, matching his words and his actions.  It seems so simple and yet trust seems to be so easily broken and so difficult to repair.  Even though I would say that I trust God, my life doesn't always reflect that.  It's so tempting to do things on my own without even asking God for his perspective.  If trusting God presents challenges, trusting others is often one of the toughest things to do. 

For me, it's often leadership that I have the most difficulty trusting.  Leadership at work, in my church, in the government.  Too many times a leader has "fallen."  They didn't do what they said they were going to.  And then we question whether they can be trusted.

My prayers today (whispers to God under my breath and quick thoughts of scripture as I tackled a task) have been not just about trusting Jesus but trusting his placement of leaders over me. 

Patient

Several characteristics to meditate on came to mind this morning...but patience was the overwhelming need for today.  I have a patient exterior.  I don't get riled up, like ever.  I don't say things hastily only to have to apologize or back pedal later.  I'm calm.  Stress does not affect me...on the outside.  But what about inside the heart, where, let's face it, it really counts, am I patient there?  While I'm cool, calm and collected on the outside, patiently waiting for the Lord's guidance, what I'm really doing is hiding the fear and anger on the inside.  At every moment when I chose external patience today I was struck by the true feelings of impatience and judgement on the inside.  That's not the type of patience Jesus had.  Tonight as I have reflected on this characteristic more, sought verses form His Word to learn from...all I could do was pray that more of who I portray myself to be on the outside would be who I really am on the inside.  It's why I need Jesus every day, only He can change me from the inside.

Ash Wednesday: Mercy

I wasn't raised in a church that put a high priority on Ash Wednesday or Lent.  I had a teacher in high school (who attended a Catholic school) give up something every year and that was the first time I was really exposed to "giving something up" for Lent.  I've given up things before and there are people I interact with daily who have chosen to give things up this year but I wonder if we give something up for how it prepares us for Easter or to see how much discipline we have? 

I see Lent as a way to prepare my heart for Christ's sacrifice on the cross.  I understand why people give something up (penance & self-denial) but that is really only one aspect of preparing our hearts for Easter.  So, the question I asked myself this year was what will best prepare my heart?  Spending time with Jesus and getting to know Him better is what came to mind.  Instead of cutting something out this year (which rarely actually prepares my heart) I'm going to add something in.  Each day of Lent I plan to focus on one characteristic of Jesus.  Pray over it, read verses about it, investigate whether my life reflects it.  No set format. Each day might look different. Some mornings I might have an hour and some I might have 10 minutes. But come Holy Week and Good Friday I hope I have had some incredible time with Jesus and that I've gotten to know my Savior more.

Today, I chose mercy because as I was journaling about Ash Wednesday this morning I was struck (as I often am when I consider Jesus' sacrifice) at how undeserving I am of what He's done for me.  I've always been undeserving.  I'll always be undeserving.  Instead of giving me what my sins deserve, Jesus is merciful. 

For today's medication I read my Bible and there are some great verses on mercy:

"But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.  He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life."  Titus 3:4-7

"Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts.  Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon."  Isaiah 55:7

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions it is by grace you have been saved."  Ephesians 2:4-5

"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."  Proverbs 28:13

And one of my favorites:

"He has showed you, O man, what is good.  and what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."  Micah 6:8

What are some of your favorite characteristics of Jesus?  

Here's to preparing our hearts for Easter. 

Books 1, 2, 3 & 4

I'm not a ferocious reader (at least not like some other friends I have) but I like to read.  I prefer to read the book before I see the movie and sometimes I have already read the book and loved it before it ever became a movie, and sometimes I just wish it would become a movie.  I thought it might be nice to track my reading for 2012 (borrowed from other blogs I read).  Provided I actually want to tell people what I have read...but hopefully that will be fine.

Book 1:  Hunger Games Series:  Mocking Jay

by Suzanne Collins

I started 2012 with about 30 pages left in book two of the Hunger Games Series (Catching Fire) and jumped right on in to book three (Mocking Jay) which makes it officially book one of 2012.  I loved book one in the Hunger Games Series so much better than two and three but I had to finish the series and I hope the movie does book one some justice...we'll find out very soon.  I like Suzanne's style and I enjoyed the triangular love story but I have to say the main character didn't always deserve to have two guys fighting for her affections...she was ridiculously out of touch with her feelings.  The whole concept of a reality TV show where people are killing each other and the last one standing wins...unfortunately doesn't seem like such a far fetched possibility in our world someday.

Book 2:  Heaven is For Real

by Todd Burpo

I bought this book on Black Friday for 50% off.  I have heard so many people talk about reading it and I knew eventually I wanted to.  It was a quick read.  I liked the family stories, the background history and everything that made them feel like a real family.  I liked that they are Midwestern small town people and could relate to that.  Some people wonder about the validity of this kind of thing.  I think the author does a good job or providing his own skepticism and then how he overcame that.  I passed the book on to my aunt who just had surgery and needs to lay around and read while she recovers.  Interestingly a good friend's son is currently going through the same illness as this little boy.  I haven't mentioned it to her though since this little boy visited Heaven during one of his surgeries.

Book 3:  Just a Minute

by Wess Stafford

This book was written by the president of the organization I work for...and a copy was given to each employee.  I didn't want to end up in conversations with other employees where they were sharing about certain parts of the president's book and I had nothing to share.  Thankfully Wess is an amazing story teller and the book was great.  I love the concept of the book...in "just a minute" we have the power to say something positive or negative that affects a child's life forever.  Many of the stories that Wess shared were about famous people and some were about employees that I know. The bottom line is that children are precious (all children) and each of us can make or break them in as little as a minute of our time.  I choose to make, not break the children I have the privledge to com into contact with...

Book 4:  A Stole Life

by Jaycee Dugard

I will admit, when the news of Jaycee Dugard being rescued broke, I was intrigued.  I knew nothing of her actual abduction (that I remember) since we are the same age but to find out that she had been in captivity for 18 years and given birth to two children (fathered by her abducter)...was so shocking.  I made a point of reading the People Magazine story about her and when there was a special on TV after her book came out I rearranged my schedule so I could watch it.  I never intended to read the book but I was perusing the "new" section at the library and there it was and my curiosity was peaked again.  Obviously this book is a huge contrast from the one I had finished before it and my heart broke over and over for this precious little girl and the sick, sick man who held her captive for 18 years.  My social work background tells me that the sick man's wife was also captive to her husband's manipulation and abuse and couldn't have done much to protect Jaycee if she wanted to but the human, compassionate side of me says she should have risked her own life to protect Jaycee.  I wish I didn't know the things this man had done but I'm so thankful the ending includes a rescue and a chance for Jaycee to have freedom. 

So, there you have the first four books of 2012.  I read a lot of books at the same time and have already started two others...just wait.

 

I Lack for Nothing

Today as I was reading Psalm 23, a Psalm I have read more times than I can count, a Psalm that is basically memorized and not on purpose...my heart grabbed on to verse one.  In the TNIV Bible I was reading from it says "The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing."  Today the part of that verse that gripped my heart was the "I lack nothing" part. 

If I really believed that I lacked nothing wouldn't I stop expecting God to give me all the things I want?  I would probably never tell you that I expect to eventually be married and become a mother, I expect to at some point conquer my weight issues and be happy with my whole self, I expect to be successful and achieve great things in my job, I expect to be a leader at my church.  I would never tell you that I expect those things, but the truth is...deep in my heart where you can't see, I do expect them. 

If I really believed that "I lack nothing" why do I still expect things that God has never promised and why am I sad at the thought of never having some of them?  The issue is not my singleness, healthy lifestyle failures, trust issues at work or taking on too much at church.  The issues is my faith in God and my truly believing that He is my Shepherd and I lack for nothing.  I've posted this verse at my desk this morning and I'm going to do my best to stop my expectations from over powering my faith...obviously with lots of assistance from the Shepard himself.

Embarrassed by Inexperience

There's a lovely woman in my small group who was challenged to go on a specific number of dates in a year (to match her age) and often the dating challenge becomes part of the chit chat at our small group (the rest of those attending are all married).  Talk ranges from who she's dating, to what they did on a date, to suggestions on future men to schedule a date with.  It's usually a fun topic to discuss and since the couples in our group still remember what it was like to be single they often have their own fun stories to share. 

I've never been one to ask my friends to set me up on dates, just figured if they know someone they think I'd hit it off with, the'll bring it up.  And while I don't necessarily make myself as available to the situations that might get myself dates, I don't close myself off to it either.  But the fact still remains that I've never been on a "real" date.  I've asked a guy to come do something with me (in high school) and done group things with people and looking back I may have actually been asked out before but the way the guy phrased it didn't really make that clear and I opted not to join him in what he was requesting. 

Normally, I am actually kind of proud not to be the type of girl that doesn't take dating seriously.  I've been proud that I don't have baggage that others have.  I've been proud that I don't have regrets about things I have done in my past.  I've been proud that someday there is a possibilityy of my husband being the first man I dated and the first man I kissed an on and on. 

But a few weeks ago (I think for the first time) I was embarrassed by my lack of dating experience and did not want to admit the number of dates I had been on (zero) to this room full of people I truly trust and value.   What happened to the pride of no regret and no baggage?  Missing out on dating has saved me from a lot of drama, but missing out on dating means I've also missed out on some opportunities to learn and grow and be more ready for the man I'll one day marry.  Embarrassement and pride aside, it really comes down to trust, I have to trust that God is still writing a beautiful love story for me. I know there may still come times where I will be embarrassed to admit my lack of dates but I hope there will still be times when I'm proud of protecting and saving my heart.